Sorry for the delay in postings (funny how I say "sorry" as though people actually care. I must be a real hot shot if I have to apologize for not dishing the deets about what I've been up to) but I've just been busy as hell.
I went to Jamaica for a wedding at the start of December. That week was fun, a whirlwind of booze and weed and sun and not enough sex considering Mike and I had to room with a girl. All in all it was a good trip but considering my shitty financial situation - I wish I could take it back.
After Jamaica it has just been work, party, sleep, repeat.
I think I've discussed my family issues before, but as a quick recap, here's the gist. My mom is an absolute angel. My dad is a gambling addicted, verbally abusive alcoholic who thinks that the best way to make himself look good is by trying to make everyone else around him look like shit. Naturally - Christmas was a real treat. My dad was drunk by 1, the first curse attack on my mother in Croatian came at 2 when she wanted to reset the table, the first insult to my mother's brother's came by 6, more insulting of my mom in front of her family at 8, a big verbal fight between my brother and father by 10, at 11 we were all lined up and told everything he hated about us, at 11:01 my brother and I both went crazy, told him what we thought of his life, my brother threatened to kill my dad, my father threatened to kill my brother, by 11:30 my mom, my brother and I were huddled in my bedroom crying, me on the phone with my bestfriend/exgirlfriend Katie for support, by midnight we noticed that my dad was gone... and I still haven't seen him since.
The 25th was a turkey dinner for 2, just my mom and I, and by the 26th I had to come back to the city to get some normalcy back into my life. That was probably the first time that heading to my condo downtown was classified as "going home". Normally, heading to my parents' for dinner is going home but now it's just a broken home and we've all been playing too stupid to see how broken it's been our whole lives. Fight then fix then pretend to be happy again - middle class suburbia's best kept secret to keeping up with the Jones'.
I've been told that my parents are separating. Apparently they've discussed how it's going to happen and the arrangements that must be made. I'll believe it when I see it. My mom should have left my dad about 20 years ago. Since then she's discussed how unhappy she is, how much she has missed out on by being with him, and all the millions of excuses of why it's not a good time to leave him. We've been down this road so many times and nothing ever changes. When I can sit and discuss the worst Christmas on record with the same emotional attachment one has when picking their nose - it's safe to say that there's no hope. No hope for rehabilitation. No hope for change.
After Christmas came a low key New Years which was pretty fun and now just back to the regular cycle. Work, party, sleep, repeat....
I went to Jamaica for a wedding at the start of December. That week was fun, a whirlwind of booze and weed and sun and not enough sex considering Mike and I had to room with a girl. All in all it was a good trip but considering my shitty financial situation - I wish I could take it back.
After Jamaica it has just been work, party, sleep, repeat.
I think I've discussed my family issues before, but as a quick recap, here's the gist. My mom is an absolute angel. My dad is a gambling addicted, verbally abusive alcoholic who thinks that the best way to make himself look good is by trying to make everyone else around him look like shit. Naturally - Christmas was a real treat. My dad was drunk by 1, the first curse attack on my mother in Croatian came at 2 when she wanted to reset the table, the first insult to my mother's brother's came by 6, more insulting of my mom in front of her family at 8, a big verbal fight between my brother and father by 10, at 11 we were all lined up and told everything he hated about us, at 11:01 my brother and I both went crazy, told him what we thought of his life, my brother threatened to kill my dad, my father threatened to kill my brother, by 11:30 my mom, my brother and I were huddled in my bedroom crying, me on the phone with my bestfriend/exgirlfriend Katie for support, by midnight we noticed that my dad was gone... and I still haven't seen him since.
The 25th was a turkey dinner for 2, just my mom and I, and by the 26th I had to come back to the city to get some normalcy back into my life. That was probably the first time that heading to my condo downtown was classified as "going home". Normally, heading to my parents' for dinner is going home but now it's just a broken home and we've all been playing too stupid to see how broken it's been our whole lives. Fight then fix then pretend to be happy again - middle class suburbia's best kept secret to keeping up with the Jones'.
I've been told that my parents are separating. Apparently they've discussed how it's going to happen and the arrangements that must be made. I'll believe it when I see it. My mom should have left my dad about 20 years ago. Since then she's discussed how unhappy she is, how much she has missed out on by being with him, and all the millions of excuses of why it's not a good time to leave him. We've been down this road so many times and nothing ever changes. When I can sit and discuss the worst Christmas on record with the same emotional attachment one has when picking their nose - it's safe to say that there's no hope. No hope for rehabilitation. No hope for change.
After Christmas came a low key New Years which was pretty fun and now just back to the regular cycle. Work, party, sleep, repeat....
2 comments:
damn dude, thats pretty rough, I'm sorry to hear that you had such a shitty christmas. Maybe its for the best that they split up if shit at home is really that miserable you know? Its still gotta be a tough situatiion to be in though... I'm here for moral support if you need someone to vent to or anything man. Peace
wow. sorry to hear you had such a traumatic christmas. seems like most people have some sort of family drama, but that seems especially bad. hopefully your mom can finally detach herself from him and you can all be happier for it. here if you need an anonymous friend to vent to...
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